Captain Jack ... what's in a name?

And apparently, when the name is "Captain Jack," there's a heck of a lot in it. In fact, I was very tempted to chuck all the images in here and say, "There, sort them out yourself!" But no. Would I do that to you? Well, I probably would if I didn't have the time to do this properly, but since I do...!

There's at least EIGHT Captain Jacks that I know of, and you could probably find someone out there who knows some more. But right now let's have a look at the eight of 'em. This gallant company starts with the one you probably know best, or second-best:


There you go ... with strains of The Johnny Depp Song going around your head ... Jack Sparrow himself! What's the Johnny Depp song? Allow me to illuminate you:

Okay --! So that's one down, seven more to go! The other one you probably know best, or second best: Harkness, Jack Harkness ... the time agent from the 51st Century who's now not merely immortal but indestructible:

...and now it gets better, because you get two Jack Harknesses for the price of one:


And if you think your glasses just steamed up, and you didn't see that right, here's Take Two ... oooooh, yes you did:

Captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood, 2007, meet Captain Jack Harkness of the US Airforce, 1941. Boy meets boy, the old, old story, right?

Okay, there's three down! Next:

Let me transport you back to 1980, or thereabouts. Captain Jack Vincent ... the show was Smuggler, a young adults' adventure series set in the Napoleonic Wars. Some episodes were too juvenile to really "travel well" across the generations, but some were absolutely top-notch. This Captain Jack was brooding, simmering ... smuggling in fact. So there's Number Four. Next?

Your grandmom would tell you, maybe with a quiver in her voice, that John Wayne wasn't always old and grizzled. You demand the evidence before you believe? Okay, you got it. Our generation didn't invent gorgeous, we only think we did:

And this here, with the hat and the major sideburns in the color still above, is Captain Jack ... Stewart. The movie is Reap the Wild Wind, and it's still a good watch, about sixty years later! So that's Captain Jack number 5. Next?

Now it gets musical. Enter Billy Joel at stage left:

Not sure if I'd call Billy's music "timeless." Not usually my kind of thing, actually, but there sure is a Captain Jack coming at you from this direction ... and if you're in the mood for two Captain Jacks for the price of one again, here's Billy Joel's Jack, plus the one in the greatcoat ... "Captain Jack will get you high tonight." (Warning to the faint hearted: there's some stuff on the soundtrack that rates this MA15, and some visuals, likewise.)



So that's Captain Jack number Six. Still two to go, that I know of ... and I'm sure there's others. Drop me a line, kids, and I'll update this. But in the meantime, try this for a golden oldie: Captain Jack and the Mermaid was a folk album that came out in 1975 ... and I've been listening to the audio CD since about 1982. Would give anything for a CD version, but you can't beg, borrow or steal them. You can only get Captain Jack as Amazon MP3 downloads ... and if you're not in America, you're outta luck, because Amazon MP3 is another Americans Only club. Here is is:


And I know the cover of a music album doesn't mean a heck of a lot, so try this instead ... YouTube to the rescue, to a point. They won't let you embed a videoclip. It's a good song, though not the best on the album (The Elf Glade is the best ... whoooo!)

And there is actually one more Captain Jack. The real one -- real, live historical character. The Black Irish Band has recorded the story. The first 75 seconds of this video give you a history lesson, so if you just want the song, fast forward to 1:15. But this is the real deal:



Starring as Captain Jack:

Johnny Depp as Sparrow
John Barrowman as Harkness
Matt Rippy as the "real" Harkness
Oliver Tobias as Vincent
John Wayne as Stewart

With music by Billy Joel, Meg Davis and Black Irish.

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!